Friday, July 27, 2012

The Arctic Luau

The evening dishwasher rethinking his career options. 
Coldfoot is like any other place, and that includes hanging out at the beach (in 40 degree weather) and having ourselves an Arctic-style luau----complete with rainbow grass skirts, coconut bras (specially imported from Hawaii by our very own Cory), and whiskey Mai Tai's. 

 The pink cocktail umbrella is key to fitting in.

O CaptainMy Captain  
The captain's hat that has been down to the Ross Ice Shelf in Antarctica.
 This man, yes, the one pictured right above this sentence with the red umbrella in his shirt pocket, can sing Russian hymns in a deep baritone and play the ukulele, banjo, and guitar, along with several other instruments I don't know how to pronounce. A must-have at any luau party ladies and gentlemen. He also informed me that he is single, so if any of you fine gals are interested send him a note to Coldfoot, Alaska.

This chick. Oh man. First day I met her:
Me: "Where are you from?"
Fifi: "I'm from Seattle"
Me: "Where about?"
Fifi: "Spokane"

That sums up Fifi.

So you know, Coldfoot kids party too, and we like to imagine that we are on a sandy beach on Big Island sun tanning in 80 degree weather, when in reality we are on a gravel bar of a glacially-fed river in the Brooks Range of Alaska substituting whisky for rum in our Mai Tai's. 

My favorite people right here. True Alaskans: the Big Liebowski and Wolverine. 

You know that Tolstoy quote: from Anna Karenina "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."? 

Here's the Coldfoot version: "All normal families are alike; each crazy family is crazy in its own way." 

A lesbian, a gold miner and a sandwich maker walk onto the gravel bar... Bet you can guess who's who.

I quote: "Dave, if you're going to draw a dick on my back, at least have it be riding a skateboard."

Blue steel or death stare? 
The birthday boy in his braided grass skirt, Hawaii shirt, captain's hat and beer in hand.

Thus, here was a glimpse of a Coldfoot party, where girls go shirtless, people drive up on four wheelers and you carry bear spray to fetch firewood. Welcome to Coldfoot. Have a nice day. 

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